And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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