I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
