Non-Jews are for practice
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
