im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
