she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize