I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
