ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize