yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
