its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
