everyone is single if you try hard enough
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
