hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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