somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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