why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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