just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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