he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
