i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
