I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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