Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
