she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's get the cat blown out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
