Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
