I want to make a zoo with you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
