Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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