I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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