In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
