I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
