She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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