I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
