You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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