I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
