you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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