if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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