So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize