Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
