She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
