We're like a lot better than the average bears
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
