She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
