She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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