3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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