how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize