And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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