Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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