So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We don't watch enough power rangers
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
