Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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