If that was your dad, he is hot
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
