I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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