Texts From Last Night

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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.

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Best Harry potter reference. Ever.

Submitted by neighplay on May 9, 10 at 8:56pm

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Maybe the girls will play with your wand.

Submitted by klangford on May 9, 10 at 9:01pm

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Sounds good in theory. But I think you're setting people up for disappointment. Once they find out your only power is succumbing to gravity, they wont be too pleased.

Submitted by IfSheSpinsFast on May 9, 10 at 9:58pm

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Don't say his name!!!!

Submitted by yourmomistasty on May 9, 10 at 9:12pm

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- "Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself." -Albus Dumbledore
  
  Submitted by bonaparte on May 10, 10 at 7:20am
  
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  - Correction. "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself" -Hermione Granger
    
    Submitted by maxdmins on May 10, 10 at 4:42pm
    
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    Correction. Hermione says that line IN THE MOVIE. Dumbledore says the line IN THE BOOK. Read the books you silly muggle!
    
    Submitted by bonaparte on May 11, 10 at 8:19am
    
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  - correction. not when it has a taboo curse on it.
    
    Submitted by everybodylies on May 11, 10 at 4:20am
    
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    correction, you're all dorks so who gives a f*ck who said it?
    
    Submitted by DuFFy12891 on May 12, 10 at 1:21pm
    
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The hot nerd girls will be swarming all over you.

Submitted by awkward on May 9, 10 at 9:05pm

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I love you?

Submitted by randomize on May 9, 10 at 9:39pm

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- Begone, MLIA fiend. No one wants you here.
  
  Submitted by malbeth on May 11, 10 at 2:48pm
  
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Hi...larious!!!! Milk came out my nose!!

Submitted by crazeeeeee on May 10, 10 at 9:41pm

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Very clever. Not being sarcastic.

Submitted by tankdriver on May 9, 10 at 9:06pm

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Soo jealous!!!

Submitted by littlefish09 on May 9, 10 at 9:04pm

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Hahaha that's amazing.

Submitted by wazoozu on May 29, 10 at 12:21pm

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Not as cool when you say it outloud though. You're like a Harry Potter wanna-be fan.

Submitted by heyyjae814 on May 9, 10 at 11:49pm

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Good shit

Submitted by dubdiver666 on May 9, 10 at 10:47pm

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Hahahaha thats one tfln that actually made me laugh

Submitted by purpleispretty on May 9, 10 at 8:59pm

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That's more for mlia... Cool though

Submitted by shotsEVERYBODY on May 9, 10 at 10:52pm

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sounds like something on mlia

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on May 10, 10 at 12:23am

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These pretzels are making me thirsty

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:55pm

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@Crispy1 I'm surprised you could even read your screen from all the way up on that pedestal. Sorry to disappoint you but we're not all waiting for puberty. I have hair on my balls, and Harry in my heart. THE END.

Submitted by DancesWithSmurfs on May 10, 10 at 2:41am

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I have a hp tattoo too : ) but very funny : )

Submitted by SuppressiveFire on May 10, 10 at 9:21am

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This post is cool for the millions of prepubescent boys and high school chicks who read this shit. For those of us who live in reality...different story.

Submitted by Crispy1 on May 9, 10 at 10:54pm

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- I am neither a prepubescent boy nor a high school chick and I enjoyed this post immensely.
  
  Submitted by awkward on May 11, 10 at 3:44pm
  
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is everyone on this site in middle school? or a young high school girl? goddamn all they do is whine about men being mean and talk about harry potter. this reminds me of back when facebook didnt allow little kids and now how people treat it like myspace

Submitted by theriseofcolin on May 9, 10 at 11:11pm

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- What's so wrong with liking nerdy things? It's better than being a collar-popping douche.
  
  Submitted by awkward on May 10, 10 at 3:25pm
  
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every dark cloud does have its silver lining. lol.

Submitted by BlackSheepParty on May 9, 10 at 9:16pm

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Fuckin hilarious.

Submitted by cleonjanine on May 15, 10 at 2:22am

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amazing.

Submitted by jizzmonster on May 10, 10 at 1:25pm

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Haha love it!! You made me smile for the first time in weeks!!

Submitted by michaelj28 on May 9, 10 at 9:27pm

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I got Harry Potter's scar tattooed on my neck. Obviously J.K. Rowling wants us to be together.

Submitted by thesidekick on May 9, 10 at 9:51pm

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I love you!!!!

Submitted by vivalajazzie on May 9, 10 at 11:09pm

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I'm jealous.

Submitted by devilwearsaa on May 11, 10 at 2:30am

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Wow really sad it took me two weeks to understand this

Submitted by 6666 on May 26, 10 at 1:21am

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ahaa that's funny I got hit in the head with a baseball the other day and got that mark too and did the same thing

Submitted by ilovemikesmom on May 9, 10 at 9:26pm

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Doesn't this belong on MLIA?

Submitted by reptile on May 9, 10 at 9:24pm

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- dude MLIA sucks a$$ gtfo of here if you want to say stupid $hyt like that.
  
  Submitted by DuFFy12891 on May 12, 10 at 1:22pm
  
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Harry potter tattoos = epic failures

Submitted by Anonymous on May 10, 10 at 12:05pm

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9:51- Harry potter tattoo? Seriously?

Submitted by Anonymous on May 9, 10 at 10:24pm

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- I got it on Sunday May 2nd aka Wizarding Independence Day, the day HP killed Voldie.
  
  Submitted by thesidekick on May 9, 10 at 10:50pm
  
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your my hero lmfao

Submitted by savvy340 on May 10, 10 at 2:09am

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Amazing<3

Submitted by kjc789 on Jun 3, 10 at 11:23pm

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Bonaparte you are the biggest harry potter nerd ever. I got love for harry but damn you take that shit too far

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:57pm

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I put. Eight. Periods. In a. Sentence. That. Requires. One.

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:58pm

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Haha that's amazing

Submitted by snickersatisfies on May 9, 10 at 9:54pm

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Maybe they didn't want to wait 3 months to get their story posted so they shared it here instead of MLIA.

Submitted by treebeard on May 10, 10 at 10:33pm

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This is soooo a win! Haa

Submitted by Jablome on May 9, 10 at 9:02pm

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Sixteenth!!!!!

Submitted by JTGrogan on May 10, 10 at 8:53am

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that's epic. i would bet you anything my friends would do the exact same thing if injured.

Submitted by ilovetaylorswift on May 18, 10 at 11:33pm

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this started funny. ended somewhere else.

Submitted by east on May 11, 10 at 12:22am

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@ charliepants\nMLIA is mylifeisaverage.com \nIt's kinda like this site. But people posted funny things that happen to them. Average tends to equal awesome.

Submitted by treebeard on May 10, 10 at 10:37pm

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Haha that's amazing

Submitted by snickersatisfies on May 9, 10 at 9:54pm

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This made me laugh

Submitted by AshleyDAZZLES on Jun 26, 10 at 2:58pm

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Today, I fell off my bed and now have a scar on my forehead. I'm going to start telling people that my arents died fighting Voldemort. MLIA.

Submitted by doabarrelroll on May 9, 10 at 10:32pm

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You are my hero.

Submitted by chicogirl89 on May 10, 10 at 12:48am

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Omfg love this one

Submitted by Niknakpaddywack on May 16, 10 at 11:19am

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You are my hero.

Submitted by aisx3 on May 12, 10 at 6:20pm

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Clever. And wuts mlia?

Submitted by charliepants on May 10, 10 at 1:08am

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- http://lmgtfy.com/?q=mlia
  
  Submitted by malbeth on May 11, 10 at 2:50pm
  
  157 160
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I agree with theriseofcolin. Some of these comments are rediculous. Sorry in real life people aren't always good

Submitted by bowlman on May 9, 10 at 11:33pm

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Hahahahahahahaha

Submitted by jakesalias225 on May 10, 10 at 5:55pm

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9:51 you are pretty much my hero! Best tfln in a while! :)

Submitted by carley505 on May 10, 10 at 4:16am

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ohhh wow that was a great story, do you have time to tell it again? or mybe we can re-tell it on a rainy day.. and untill then you can just throw it in the good story basket? oh wow i just wasted like half my life.

Submitted by ShelbyXADHD on May 31, 10 at 11:46am

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Legendary.

Submitted by maxdmins on May 10, 10 at 4:35pm

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So dumb.

Submitted by bienlunee on May 9, 10 at 9:29pm

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ShelbyXADHD:\n\nI'm sorry you wasted half your life bitching about this clearly comical text. Too bad, eh?

Submitted by squared on Nov 27, 10 at 11:57pm

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Yay! This just made my day (:

Submitted by halle_nicole13 on May 9, 10 at 10:31pm

115 207
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(301): View more from Maryland

Comments

Submitted by neighplay on May 9, 10 at 8:56pm

Submitted by klangford on May 9, 10 at 9:01pm

Submitted by IfSheSpinsFast on May 9, 10 at 9:58pm

Submitted by yourmomistasty on May 9, 10 at 9:12pm

Submitted by bonaparte on May 10, 10 at 7:20am

Submitted by maxdmins on May 10, 10 at 4:42pm

Submitted by bonaparte on May 11, 10 at 8:19am

Submitted by everybodylies on May 11, 10 at 4:20am

Submitted by DuFFy12891 on May 12, 10 at 1:21pm

Submitted by awkward on May 9, 10 at 9:05pm

Submitted by randomize on May 9, 10 at 9:39pm

Submitted by malbeth on May 11, 10 at 2:48pm

Submitted by crazeeeeee on May 10, 10 at 9:41pm

Submitted by tankdriver on May 9, 10 at 9:06pm

Submitted by littlefish09 on May 9, 10 at 9:04pm

Submitted by wazoozu on May 29, 10 at 12:21pm

Submitted by heyyjae814 on May 9, 10 at 11:49pm

Submitted by dubdiver666 on May 9, 10 at 10:47pm

Submitted by purpleispretty on May 9, 10 at 8:59pm

Submitted by shotsEVERYBODY on May 9, 10 at 10:52pm

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on May 10, 10 at 12:23am

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:55pm

Submitted by DancesWithSmurfs on May 10, 10 at 2:41am

Submitted by SuppressiveFire on May 10, 10 at 9:21am

Submitted by Crispy1 on May 9, 10 at 10:54pm

Submitted by awkward on May 11, 10 at 3:44pm

Submitted by theriseofcolin on May 9, 10 at 11:11pm

Submitted by awkward on May 10, 10 at 3:25pm

Submitted by BlackSheepParty on May 9, 10 at 9:16pm

Submitted by cleonjanine on May 15, 10 at 2:22am

Submitted by jizzmonster on May 10, 10 at 1:25pm

Submitted by michaelj28 on May 9, 10 at 9:27pm

Submitted by thesidekick on May 9, 10 at 9:51pm

Submitted by vivalajazzie on May 9, 10 at 11:09pm

Submitted by devilwearsaa on May 11, 10 at 2:30am

Submitted by 6666 on May 26, 10 at 1:21am

Submitted by ilovemikesmom on May 9, 10 at 9:26pm

Submitted by reptile on May 9, 10 at 9:24pm

Submitted by DuFFy12891 on May 12, 10 at 1:22pm

Submitted by Anonymous on May 10, 10 at 12:05pm

Submitted by Anonymous on May 9, 10 at 10:24pm

Submitted by thesidekick on May 9, 10 at 10:50pm

Submitted by savvy340 on May 10, 10 at 2:09am

Submitted by kjc789 on Jun 3, 10 at 11:23pm

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:57pm

Submitted by BrohammedAli on May 10, 10 at 3:58pm

Submitted by snickersatisfies on May 9, 10 at 9:54pm

Submitted by treebeard on May 10, 10 at 10:33pm

Submitted by Jablome on May 9, 10 at 9:02pm

Submitted by JTGrogan on May 10, 10 at 8:53am

Submitted by ilovetaylorswift on May 18, 10 at 11:33pm

Submitted by east on May 11, 10 at 12:22am

Submitted by treebeard on May 10, 10 at 10:37pm

Submitted by snickersatisfies on May 9, 10 at 9:54pm

Submitted by AshleyDAZZLES on Jun 26, 10 at 2:58pm

Submitted by doabarrelroll on May 9, 10 at 10:32pm

Submitted by chicogirl89 on May 10, 10 at 12:48am

Submitted by Niknakpaddywack on May 16, 10 at 11:19am

Submitted by aisx3 on May 12, 10 at 6:20pm

Submitted by charliepants on May 10, 10 at 1:08am

Submitted by malbeth on May 11, 10 at 2:50pm

Submitted by bowlman on May 9, 10 at 11:33pm

Submitted by jakesalias225 on May 10, 10 at 5:55pm

Submitted by carley505 on May 10, 10 at 4:16am

Submitted by ShelbyXADHD on May 31, 10 at 11:46am

Submitted by maxdmins on May 10, 10 at 4:35pm

Submitted by bienlunee on May 9, 10 at 9:29pm

Submitted by squared on Nov 27, 10 at 11:57pm

Submitted by halle_nicole13 on May 9, 10 at 10:31pm

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