The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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