i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
