just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Randomize
