I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
