nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
