brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
