i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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