Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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