There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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