good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
