Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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