Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
