Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
