Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize