This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
