Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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