Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
