In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
