how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize