handjob tips. give me some.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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