So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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