I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Someone came in the potted fern
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
