I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
