She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
