I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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