Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
