ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize