I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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