My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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