So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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