some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
